God is faithful. Reading thru the Old Testament, of generations after generations of disobedience, triumph, and grace, God remains faithful.
In my own life, that is how he has been. All I could say in the start was, "I no longer want an on and off relationship with Him". Because that's how it was. I only feel him during retreats, but after three days of those retreats, I am back to my sinfulness and I no longer could trust my heart to sustain that kind of relationship with Him. I simply can't seem to commit.
My view of God reflected that of the world. I welcomed the idea of divorce, believed that nothing could last forever, and every good thing will hopelessly change. But knowing how faithful God is to me until now -- almost four years of being on a vibrant journey with him -- I know that such commitment is possible because He makes it possible. He made me believe those good things that were promised to me but I have denied before. When I relied on my own commitment to God, I fail and get frustrated. But being aware of his faithfulness and his pursuit of me, I am more confident that it will work.
Thanks, Lord. To eternity. May your faithfulness revive the next generation.