Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Ang Pagsuyo

Ako’y nandirito, lumalapit nang marahan sa’yo
Dahan-dahang tumutungo sa paanan ng iyong trono.
Nais kong humingi ng tawad sa mga oras na ika’y nariyan
At kaunting pansin at tingin lamang ni hindi kita mabigyan.

Sa bawat pagsikat ng araw, mula sa pagdilat hanggang sa pagpikit
Di man lang maisipang gantihan ang pagmamahal at malasakit.
Ni hindi maipagpasalamat ang panibagong araw mong biniyaya
Kahit ilang minuto ng umaga mong bigay, napagdaramot ko pa.

Sa bawat segundong lumilipas na ako’y iyong iniingatan
Sa mga sakit na aking naranasan na ikaw lang ang nilalapitan
Sa panahong ako’y nalimutan at pinabayaan na ng iba
Ikaw pa rin ang nagpapahid ng mga luha sa mata

Sa iyo ang balikat na sumalo sa aking pag-iyak
At sa iyo rin ang mga kamay na kumapit sa aking pagbiyak
Mga pagkukulang ko’y kinalimutan at binura mong lahat
Pati bigat ng loob at pasakit, iyo pa ring binuhat

Sana maniwala ka na ito ay totoo:
Na ayaw na muling mawalay pa sa’yo
Ayaw na kitang iwan at kalimutang pahalagahan
Nais kitang makita, bumalik sa dating tagpuan.

Monday, February 25, 2013

Farewells and Cruises

Work is fun part 2 perhaps?

I'll really miss two of my beautiful officemates, Owen and Fat as they leave this week. Owen is bound for Taiwan for AIESEC (a similar fate for me by the end of March! But she leaves permanently, so) and Fat's taking up Med so she's quitting to make way for her academic work.

Vday forecasts


Farewell cruising

And this is how we say goodbye.

Dang. March is marching in. I'm about to leave too.

Thursday, February 21, 2013

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

The Great Indoors

Lately I get confused as to why I've forgotten my old loves -- browsing through magazines, learning something off Youtube, "trying" to cook (or mash various food up to pass up for food), read the news, have an extended quiet time, and even just a muni muni time. Where have all my 24 hours gone?

Then I realized that as much as an active social life brings happiness, it deprives you of certain essential things as well, such as time for yourself. You know, just hanging out behind closed doors and actually enjoying your own company? I miss that about myself. Now, the only alone time I have is when I take a walk!

Also, I think the reason why last week I haven't followed that Finish the Bible 365 is because I go home too late, thus, too tired to remain awake or get up early to read. Tsk tsk.

For the first time, I think spending some domestic time would be beneficial. My days are filled enough with people from morning until I sleep. Mondays to Sundays. Breakfast to dinners (even midnight bites). Even online time is consist of people (hello, reader)! Probably it's time to cut down on going out and find no problem with spending a few nights with quality self- and God time, and to return to my old introverted habits.

Ever thought about doing the same thing? :)

Sunday, February 17, 2013

Praying sisters

Tonight we prayed in our room. We aren't perfect people. In fact we were talking about grievances a few minutes before. But something about the prayer lifted everything up to the one more sovereign than us. I'm thankful for praying sisters, really. Where could I find such treasures in all this earth? Thank you Lord.

I'm thankful for the Commonwealth ministry. I never would have wanted to spend my Saturdays waking up early (knowing there are Friday night gimmicks before) to go to an urban slum filled with people who will probably judge and reject us. But God really made me enjoy my trip last Saturday. Thank you Lord for the willing hearts you have set to go to the community. For the people we met. For the Gospel we shared. Thank you for the words you put in our mouths. For the enjoyable breakfasts and dinners.

I'm thankful for Aniday. This week plenty of people shared that they were able to show your glory to other people. Tere, even little Ethan! Tonight Melvs texted that what we prayed for just came true. He was able to reach out to his mom. Thank you for placing the conviction in our hearts to share the Gospel. We would never be able to do it without enjoyment and delight from you. I'm really just amazed at the energy that we have. Church has never been this fun.

I'm thankful for difficulties because it really shows the state of my heart. For the people who are difficult to love, who push me to beyond the limits and measurements and quotas of my perceived capacity to love and pursue. For how a deceitful heart like mine could think of forgiveness, gentleness, and kindness even when it is too stubborn to do so.

I'm thankful for the opportunities to share your love. For the realizations. For the fruitful prayers. For the quiet times. For the convictions.

My life is never perfect. I'm not a perfect person. I get frustrated for all the times that I'm stubborn, difficult, and unkind. If I could afford not to be human, I would. But I can't. I have to go through this journey with God. And I pray also that you would continue the race. I pray that you would be able to persevere -- the difficult people to love, the daunting circumstances, the withering spirit, and the frustrations over an imperfect self -- I pray that you would be able to lay them all down at the foot of the cross. Draw your water from an eternally thirst-quenching well. Channel all the pain, hatred, struggles, and discouragement to the ultimate lover.

Saturday, February 9, 2013

Cruelty (2)

It's both outrageous and surprising
how a single person could make you feel alone.

How having no gift at a particular time
could make you feel worthless

How not hearing "I love you" exclusively
could make you feel not valued.

What have we demanded for this world
for us to be disappointed at the littler things?

Thursday, February 7, 2013

Thoughts while getting a license

At 1PM, when everybody waiting for their name to be called. Sleepy and all, until...
LTO officer (calling names): "Juan de la Cruz? Okay. Sheila Reyes? Uh-huh... Katrina Halili!"
(everybody stirs)
Officer: Katrina Halili?
(everybody looks around)
(dramatic pause)
(Then a normal girl stands up and took the place in the line)
Officer: Ahhhh, Katrina Halili...


So I did some grown up thing today leaving from work to get a driver's license, which meant spending 8 hours going from window to window, taking an answered examination (what a joke), and drinking a liter of water for a 60mL drug test sample. Haha.

What is pleasing for me was spending a normal day at Imus. Not on a weekend where everyone is at home, but a normal working day. I accompanied my mom to work in the morning. She wakes up really early and is earlier than everybody else, even when she was teaching at Beda and we commute from Cavite to Manila daily (the punctuality didn't rub off that much to me unfortunately). Now she is the principal at St. Dom, and she loves her job, so I loved it too!

The early morning ride to her office reminded me of my early school bus days, and breakfasts where I would sneak around to sleep. Walking along corridors of the school made me thought of my childhood and high school. Mom is a teacher all her life, and she really is dedicated to her craft. You should see the many books she has on the shelves (similar to dad)!

And going to school with her was a bit nostalgic. My childhood studying in Manila was spent on afternoons waiting for her to finish. I practically grew up in the faculty room where I would play Garfield in the computer until a teacher tells me she needs to use the machine. I would sleep on her desk, read her class materials so I won't get bored, and would eat in the canteen with her teacher friends. I would play in the field and the parking lot with other teachers' kids until she is ready to leave. Imagine that by the time I was in high school, those teachers in the faculty room became my teachers too :)) They practically watched me grow up. Now, as I graduate from school, it still feels the same. The office and people might have changed (mas hi-tech at malaki haha), but the same teacher-y or should I say principal-y energy was there.

I realized I never really planned on being a teacher... perhaps because I hate rules. Or maybe because I don't like studying. Haha. But they have such a great responsibility. They play such a huge role on children...

And then she accompanied the Kinder 2 students who are going to have a mini-field trip where they would make burgers at McDo (right across the school), be toured around the restaurant, and more (haha!). They students were reallyyyyyy cute Has it really been a decade since I last wore those Barbie shoes I used to run around with, playing football/dodgeball? Or to have those glittery braids on my hair? Darn.

And like a little kid, mom dropped me off at LTO to apply. It felt like dropping me off to school and leaving me to enroll myself  (in UP, that is) :)) IT WAS JUST AS DIFFICULT. Ugh. Processes.

And after getting my license (hurrah!) and maKING my way home that afternoon, I am reminded of afternoons spent playing on the streets or at school. The neighborhood we lived in for 19 years already. It's such a great feeling, to be home and feel home. To feel like a kid and a grownup. To have a welcome break from the Quezon City house and work. And most of all, to have a license photo that looks better than your grad pic. Kainis! :))

Monday, February 4, 2013

HBD Wesley

Happy birthday to one of the wackiest people I know! Thank you for making my dream of eating at Banapple come true :D There is a story behind that! Inside the car, as we were fixing our papers upon transferring to Diliman, we vowed to eat at every restaurant at Katipunan once we are finally accepted in the campus. "We will eat everywhere! We will eat..." then at random finger-pointing, "There!!!" We looked and saw that it was Banapple (at Katip extension). So we vowed to eat there together when we transfer.

Unfortunately, it took me this long to actually try the resto!!! But still, better nate than lever! (oops) :))

I usually don't post videos because my secret YT account will be revealed, which as I said in the description box, is a storehouse of embarrassing vids. Buuuut not something a little settings tweaking couldn't fix!

And because of this, I vow to take more videos :D

Sunday, February 3, 2013

Chasing suns

One item off my bucket list: being on a photoshoot for nothing.

For nothing -- meaning, spontaneous.

Yam and I love spending idle Sundays sleeping, taking walks, and eating slowly. But out of inspiration (and wanting to initially go to the Vargas museum for the first time), we raided the closet, added some drama, and tugged my camera along while the sun was still up and golden. The result?

Looking forward to more spontaneous Sundays like these.. :)

Saturday, February 2, 2013

Just for laughs

Two old friends recently celebrated their birthdays, which lead me to look for old pictures of us. And I had to laugh a little bit at my (old) silly self: HAHAHAHA.

"Telephone" by Lady Gagita XD

Obviously, I love wacky pictures.
And these are the less embarrassing ones.
Oh the people you could be silly with.